ty.rannosaur.us

History is full of epic mustaches. The Babylonians believed that a man’s virility was proportional to the thickness of his mustache and even swore oaths upon their beards. This tradition continued into Saddam Hussein’s reign, where mustaches were practically mandated. At times, one wonders if it is the man or the mustache. The following are notable examples of humanity’s timeless mustache heritage. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s not exactly a startling, ground-breaking revelation to suggest that the Vikings were pretty much the most face-rockingly hardcore bastards to ever beat a bunch of monks to death with their own iron church bells, throw them through a stained-glass window onto some pointy rocks, and carry off all of their valuable artifacts. We all know that these psychotic, axe-wielding Norsemen are more or less the epitome of everything it means to be tough as hell, what with their looting and pillaging and huge beards and all, but it never really hurts to drive home the point every once in a while that these guys totally kicked ass.

So, in order to promote the release of my new book BADASS: A Relentless Onslaught of the Toughest Warlords, Vikings, Samurai, Pirates, Gunfighters, and Military Commanders to Ever Live, I’ve been given the opportunity to write a list of badass Vikings for my friends here at ty.rannosaur.us. As the exceedingly-lengthy title of the book would imply, there are a couple of Vikings described within the pages. I discuss King Harald Hardrada of Norway and the anonymous Viking at Stamford Bridge, but there are so many other great stories of sea-raiding warlords that qualify as righteous, jugular-rending badasses. Here are some of their stories. Read the rest of this entry »

Most of the stories we grew up hearing about Africans, Polynesians, and other “savages” eating colonists were exaggerated blood libels used to justify enslaving them. The following are 10 incidents of cannibalism. They delve into the cultures that practiced it, tell the stories of a few murdering cannibals, and also of some extreme situations where people were driven to eat their fellow man in order to survive. Read the rest of this entry »

The sheer amount of insane or mentally unstable heads of state is evidence that the one job that requires the least in the way of mental stability is absolute rule. In honor of every mad monarchs and deranged dictators who tried to live up to Zarkon, this is a list of the 10 most whacked-out despots in history. Read the rest of this entry »

A few months back we featured a list of 10 badasses from the pages of history. Unfortunately, despite the high level of ass-kicking, on the list, some people wanted more face-punching action and less touching stories about moms raising their kids to be awesome. This is a list of 10 people who were badass enough to warrant mention purely for their ass-kicking skills… despite being, you know, dead. Read the rest of this entry »